There is love of course. And then there's life, its enemy.

Love is the one great equalizer. It's the one thing that 99.7% of us can relate to. We've all loved and lost. We hold onto what's no longer there and want nothing more than to go back in time and have it back. I feel this is the only place to start our stories.

The love of my life showed up my sophomore year of college. I remember sitting in class looking at him... I wasn't exactly attracted to him at first, but I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He was so mysterious... so deep. I wanted to know his story.

It took two years of being nothing but acquaintances to get inside his mind. It all started on a field trip for us. We were camping in the Arizona desert in early March and were freezing our asses off. We cuddled for warmth and both secretly liked it. When we got back to school, we had a sleepover the first night and laid in bed together for half of the next day. This went on for quite some time... we would do nothing but hang out all hours of the night, cuddle, hold each other, and talk. It wasn't until I decided to pick up and move across the country for the summer that things started to change.

One night during our routine sleepovers we were lying nose to nose. Suddenly, he kissed me. It was probably the most passionate kiss I've ever experienced in my life. I was completely consumed by it until it suddenly stopped. He mentioned that we should go to sleep and we didn't kiss again until I returned from California.

My summer away was the turning point for us. I awoke to texts from him almost every morning, talked to him via text message all day... and fell head over heels in love with him. It was intense, passionate, and real. . . And then I came home. I saw him the first night I was home and everything was perfect... then we got back to school.

I have no idea what happened next. It's all sort of a blur but somehow things just changed. Suddenly he was putting space between us and saying terrible, cruel things. Hurtful things that haunt me to this day. I fell apart. I slept every minute of everyday that was not spent in class or doing homework. This went on for over a month until he broke the silence with two words, "I'm sorry." I woke up to this text message and didn't believe it. I went into Anne's room and she confirmed that it was real and that's what it said.

I had reservations about letting him back in, but I was powerless to stop myself. We ended up falling back into our old routine, except this time things were going to be different. I was determined not to let him hurt me again. If only I had been strong enough to stop it...

After months of falling back into our normal routine, I finally got to the point where his hot and cold game was too much for my wounded heart. He snapped at me one last time and I decided it was time to move on. That's when I started dating the guy who I never really liked that much, but deeply cared for. I hate to say it, but I stayed with this guy for a year and a half because it was a distraction from the One who held my heart in a glass jar. When things between the boyfriend and I were coming to an end, the One came back into my life yet again.

We picked right back up where we left off... again Things seemed to come full circle when we found ourselves on another field trip in the Texas desert. We were at the base of a 6,000 foot climb when he told me he had been diagnosed as bi-polar. Suddenly, my heart understood the reasons for all the pain and wanted desperately to yell "WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST TELL ME THAT?!" But I didn't... instead I just looked at him and said "Up the mountain." Half way up the mountain we were having a minor disagreement about what we were supposed to be doing when he dropped another bombshell. Overlooking the Permian Basin he looked at me and said, "this is why we could never be together, we're both too stubborn." Everything ceased to exist at that moment. I just stared at him and thought to myself that was the biggest bunch of bullshit I had ever heard. Didn't he know I would have done anything to stay with him?! Doesn't he know I would have done anything to make it work?! Why didn't he get this!? What was his problem!?

Fast forward to present day.

This man, the One. . . This imperfect man who has broken my heart over and over again is still the love of my life. We've continued doing the hot and cold thing since it all began in 2008. Last year he had another pissy fit and I deleted him from my phone. That gave me the self control I needed to ignore his existence. A year of silence and I thought it was over. I thought I had moved on. I thought he no longer mattered.

Then he invaded my facebook 8 days ago. What I thought was my house of bricks came crumbling down around me and all it took was a picture... no words, just a picture that only he and I understand. I feel my heart trying to take over, I dream about him constantly, I can't stop wondering how he is and if he misses me...

This time though, I know better. My brain is finally in control of my dum dum of a heart. I can keep dreaming, keep missing, keep wondering. That's okay though, its normal. I know that I still love him, will always love him. No matter what. But I also know I deserve to be with someone

who loves me for me and will be HOT... all the time.

Attached are secrets recovered from the Postsecret iPhone App that spoke to me on this subject. I hope its okay that I share them with you all.

Introduction to Delaney Miller

In the past 16 months I have had more than a few FML moments. Unlike Anne, I didn't have my shit together when I was 18 and I ended up taking the scenic route through college. After finishing up my victory lap at the university Anne and I met at six years ago, it was time to change my life.

I had been dating a guy I didn't really like but deeply cared for for a year and a half before I graduated from undergrad. Four days before graduation I told him that my life was starting, and I no longer felt like I had room for him in it. It was time to spread my wings and become the person I had been dreaming of becoming for years. So, I moved from the NW suburbs of Chicago to rural Idaho. I reside within a thriving metropolis of 20,000 people 98 miles from the nearest interstate. Rural doesn't really begin to describe it.

When I moved to Idaho it was time to start following the plan. Get more exercise. Eat healthier. Support local businesses. Be a straight A student. Forgive my parents. Forgive myself. Forgive my ex (not that ex, THE ex... but I'll get to him later). Learn to love myself. Learn to stand on my own two feet.

It wasn't easy but I took advantage of the desperate loneliness I had to endure when first moving here. I had nothing but time on my hands to take a deep, introspective look at myself. Step by step I acknowledged what step of the plan was next and I did everything I could to achieve the goal I had set for myself. Somehow I found the strength to do all of those things... and more.

Unlike Anne, I have a cookie cutter future. I somehow hit the lottery. I got the job of my choice in less than a month of looking and soon find myself in a very different tax bracket than I've been in my entire life. Unlike Anne, my career choice was not something that will help the world be a better place. In fact, many think I'm The Enemy. The guilt that comes with knowing this is something I will have to deal with.

Come May, I will spend two weeks traveling abroad and then I have to move to Oklahoma City and start working for The Man. This is a great contrast to the "gypsy lifestyle" I've been living for the past eight years. I am scared shitless.

I am a poster child of "It Gets Better." I've had a tough road to get here, but here I am. I promise to share with you the journey I've been on in more detail but for now, just trust that I was not always who and how I am today.

I hope that you find my and Anne's stories relateable. I know this isn't going to be the book of answers we're all looking so desperately for, but Anne and I are real people with real problems and we promise to provide an honest reflection on our lives. We hold a true desire to grow and hopefully this outlet will aid us in finding our final destinations and with any luck, it will help you find your way as well.

Introduction to Anne Conway

At twenty-four, I am not exactly where I want to be (but arguably, where I need to be).  In 2009, I finished college. I then moved halfway across the country to attend a graduate school program that I firmly believe in (and hope to be able to pursue a career in that field). After I finished graduate school (2011), I moved back home (Chicagoland) to job search and get my shit together. That has not quite worked out… I am single, unemployed, and live in my parent’s attic. Yikes!

As a Type-A achiever, this experience has shaken my foundation. Like many of my peers, I am floating in a transition period.  This has forced me to seek my self-identity outside of traditional relational benchmarks. I am no longer a student. I am not a girlfriend. I am not an employee. Instead, I must shift my focus internally. I am a smart, hardworking, occasionally funny, empathetic, emotional, diligent, curious, strong, passionate, and resilient individual who hopes to continue to grow.

With the current economy, I have found that I am not the only twenty-something feeling lost, confused, and isolated. This postgraduate period has seemed like an intentional pause (or quiet space) from my previously hectic life, which has forced me to focus on my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual state. As Delaney and I share our journey of self-exploration, we hope that our honest reflections will break the feelings of isolation and confusion experienced by our peers. We are all in this together. Thanks and peace!

"We are members of a vast cosmic orchestra, in which each living instrument is essential to the complimentary and harmonious playing of the whole."
 ~J. Allen Boone